You might think this is a post about the recent legislation passed in NY state. It's not. Whatever my personal political leanings are, I make it a point never to try force them on anyone else. You might find this strange, given the number of times I say, "that's stupid. I'm right." But normally my righteousness pertains to less "big-picture" issues. For instance, the leggings-as-pants phenomenon. I can safely say that I am in the right on this issue. It shouldn't be done. People who neglect to put on pants in the morning should be mocked, pointed at, maybe even the target of a softly-lobbed stick or two. LAP is the symbol of all that is wrong with my generation. I might go so far as to say that leggings caused the current economic crisis. I mean, when consumers stop purchasing pants, the market is going to take a big hit.
But I digress. When I titled my post "New York," I was feeling insanely uncreative, but was referencing the city, not the state. Today I spent a few hours "downtown" (since I technically live in Manhattan, I no longer feel right saying "in the city") and saw some pretty amazing things. In some cases, amazing can be good--a skateboard ramp set up in the middle of Times Square, wedding photos taken in Grand Central, a dog the size of Beethoven (the pup, not the pianist) calmly slobbering ropes of saliva while a little girl that was probably the size of it's last poop hit/patted him on the nose.
But today I saw some amazingly bad things. I will focus on my subway ride. At 175th street, three women got on pushing a little pink stroller. I assumed they were girlfriends out for a day of shopping. Turns out only two of them were girlfriends. But they wheeled the stroller on the train, sat down, and one immediately started cooing at the baby girl in the pram. Now, you know I love babies. So I looked, and listened, on, waiting for a glimpse of a truly adorable kid. There are always cute kids on the subway. Though, there always seem to be one or two creepy ones as well.
After a couple of minutes of catching snippets of conversation, I heard something that made me take a quick, sharp look at the stroller. Dear God, they had a cat riding in the stroller with the baby! I can't imagine having a baby and a clawed-anything zipped into the same tiny space is a good idea. What were these women thinking?
Another look.
Good Lord! They had multiple cats inside with the baby!
A few more seconds of eavesdropping and a full-out stare through the stroller netting.
Holy Mother! There was no baby in that thing! These women were pushing a litter of kittens around the city in a stroller!
Why? Why? You know I hate cats about as much as I love babies. This was a serious disappointment for me.
But even beyond that, WHY do you need to push cats around in a stroller? Why do you need to take your cats out at all? Ok, sure, let them frolic in the small patch of green that surrounds the tree in the middle of the sidewalk if they need some fresh air. But what could a cat possibly need to do that requires mass transit? A play date with some posh downtown felines? I mean, really.
And the way these women spoke about their cats. It turns out the two stroller-pushing women didn't actually know the third. They just happened to encounter a kindred spirit--another lesbian who didn't find it strange to cart your cats in a baby apparatus. They swapped stories, advice, veterinary diagnoses. From what I gathered, one of the kittens on the train only had one eye. Thank God it was zipped into that stroller. If I'd seen that thing, I probably would've vomited on the spot.
Maybe it is my bias against cats. Maybe I would change my mind if I saw a litter of adorable puppies cruising around the subway tunnels in a stroller. But I still would probably say, "WTF?" Put those suckers on leashes, or carry them in a kennel. Don't push them around like little primadonnas. Ain't no cat gonna survive in this city if they can't "mind the gap."
Please tell me I am not the only one who was totally disturbed by this incident.
Another quick strangoid--the kindred spirit woman was kind of curvy. I think when she sat down her chin actually touched her chest. She was wearing a low-cut sundress and carrying a big-ass bag. Halfway through cooing at the kittens, she takes out her cellphone--to check the time I guess, because she certainly wasn't receiving a call. But she didn't take it out of her bag. She took it out of her bra. Why are you carrying a bag, if all your accessories can fit in your bodice?? Is your phone so expensive that you need to make positively sure that no one will filch it out of your bag? And also...what else do you carry around in there? Keys? Wallet? Your favorite cat?
New York--I love it, but it sure is full of wack-a-doos.
3 things...I like the new blog look. I know it's not completely new, but you also know I've been slacking on the blog front in general lately. Also when I wear that grey sweater dress with leggings does that count as LAP? Are you secretly mocking me?? And finally I laughed out loud so many times reading this one! But especially when I read about the little girl the size of Beethovens poop. Seriously, I couldn't stop, Mike looked at me strangely.
ReplyDelete3 things...thanks. I thought after almost 9 months it was time for a change. Also, that doesn't count because you are wearing a sweater dress...the dress is key. If you were wearing a sweater, then, yes, I would secretly mock you. And thanks, again. I particularly liked this post as well.
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